My girlfriend recently asked me what I would like her to dress up as to spice up our sex life. Apparently "an attractive woman" is an unacceptable request.
Which Reminds Me... Yo Mama! Yo mama is so stupid, she sat on the TV and watched the sofa! Yo mama is so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death! Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread. Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl! Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics." Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind. Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. And: Yo Mama is so fat, she stood on the scale and it gave her her phone number!
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I, as an American have had it with people calling the USA the country of idiots! In my opinion Europe is the country of idiots!
I, as an American have had it with people calling the USA the country of idiots! In my opinion Europe is the country of idiots! ------------------------------------------------------ Be the change that you want to see in the world. ----Mohandas Gandhi *********************** Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what? A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis
American-Correct True Story There was this EUROPEAN guy in Arkansas named Jethro walking down the road one day till he noticed his other EUROPEAN friend across the road carrying a bag. Jethro: "Hey Billy Joe what you got in that bag?" Billy Joe: "In this bag here I got me chickens." Jethro: "Chickens! I sure would like chickens. I bet you if I guess how many chickens you got in that thar bag you give me one..." Billy Joe: "Sheeeeiiit Jethro if you guess how many chickens I got in this bag I'll give you 'both' of them" Jethro: "uhhh...5" Billy Joe: "Nope!!!"
I was playing Xbox Live earlier when an American person was convinced that I was Australian. "What time is it in Australia?" he asked. "About half 7, what time is it in McDonalds?" I replied.