Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down: First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up onto my yard.
You know you are getting old when... ...porn sites refer to that hot girl you have been ogling as milf. (feel free to continue)
10. You've got it. Go ahead. Flaunt it! 9. Air Force One is a great vehicle to dip into the Secretarial Pool. 8. I find, once they go black.......... 7. One word. Ambien. 6. Don't leave text messages, or voicemail. Let Joe be your intermediary. Like, "Hey, Joe. Go tell that girl I think she's cute. 5. Never leave loose five irons laying around the house. 4. Don't be talkin' down Michelle to no skanks. 3. Let the CIA buy the tickets and book the hotel. 2. No three ways with Bill Ayers. You start a war, or cut taxes, he'll talk. 1. Keep your head still.
Macho Skeet <object style="height: 344px; width: 425px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YgT7-xr2PGA"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YgT7-xr2PGA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object>
Some Of These Are Already Here, But, Then Again, We've Only Just Begun! Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant. Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly⦠but put me down for a 5." Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards... What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing... Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldnât decide between a wood and an iron. Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger! Jesper Parnevik says she should have used a driver not a 3 iron.