Jokes 2

The police asked Elin how many times she hit Tiger.

She said: "well, uh, I don't know. Just put me down for a five".

 

The joke in England is "9 out of 10 Americans think Obama crashed his car."

 

Rachel Uchitel: "I never saw his putter."

 

How many women is Tiger Woods currently sleeping with ???

FORE!!

 

How much is Tiger gonna have to pay her to "stay putt" in the marriage?

 

Tiger's latest drive is gonna give his wife an open shot to the green.

 

The thought of Tiger having a new grip on his putter drove Elin nuts.

 

Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement. According to the new contract, the next time Tiger plays a round, Elin will hand him his balls.

 

Pfizer is cutting advertising and marketing costs. They're working with their ad agency to "re-tread" older marketing slogans from other products to Viagra:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock !

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra , Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3.. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your peepee... This is your peepee on drugs.

 

My girlfriend, The only time she doesn't moan is during sex.