A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'" Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him. Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons." The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence." Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!"
Years ago, I had a black shirt that looked kinda like the shirt dentists wear. My coworkers called me the Evil Fifth Dentist - from the Trident commercials where they said that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend chewing sugar free gum.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Rogers, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "My Dad says... you're-an-eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"
Johnnie seems to have an unhealthy fascination with womens' breasts. Send him down to the School Psychologist. What a rack she's got.
During health class, the teacher asked the class: "Why is that during childhood, girls tend to grow taller than guys?" Little Johnny replied: "That's because guys have "balls" and that weighs them down." Teacher: "Then why is that at maturity, guys tend to grow taller than gals?" Little Johnny says "That's because girlls have breasts and they are heavier than the boys' "balls"
Several young French boys were called by the Paris Authorities for a medical check-up to determine the father of a teenage girl's baby. Pierre was first in, and after a few minutes, came out and said, "Don't worry, they'll never find out 'oo it was. They're taking samples from the finger."
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence,soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
File this laugh under "I wish I would have said that." Old c &w song, "Rose colored glasses" Sometimes I read the first page of comments, this comment made be bust out laughing, so unexpected. "to all the workers and stock holders at CIT Group ... " http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ8mlC3mWW4&feature=related
I was standing next to a very fat fellow at a urinal, when suddenly, for no discernible reason, he confided in me that he hadn't seen his cock in 15 years. Not knowing why he suddenly decided to confide such personal information to a complete stranger, and not knowing what else to say and wanting to be helpful, I said "Why don't you diet? Giving me a surprised stare, he said "Dye it? For fucks sake, what colour is it now?"