I think my new girlfriends a slut. I took her to the dentists yesterday and he said, 'open wide.' She said, 'I can't - there's arms on the chair.'
I was called into the boss's office this morning. He said, "I don't know what this company would do without you!" I was feeling quite proud, until he continued, "But as of next week we are going to find out"
Nutmeg, your help might be needed. http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/11/celine.dion.baby/index.html p.s. but ask first!
People, they always ask me, "So, do you have any kids?" I just tell them; "Well, that sock under my bed and I have been trying for years, but no little bundles of joy yet."
"You know what you get for donating your eggs, ladies? Five thousand bucks. Guys, you know what we get for our sperm? Fifty bucks. I got a towel at home that's worth two hundred thousand dollars." Nick DiPaolo
I'm in a bar, having a few drinks, when I realize I gotta take a leak. So I go into one of the restroom stalls, and moments later, the guy in the next stall, says "Hi. How's it going?" So, I go "Uhhh, all right." A couple of seconds later he says, "What are ya doing tonight?" So, naturally I replied, "Just having' a couple of beers, and then I'm going home." The next thing he says is, "Listen, I'll call you back later. There's an idiot in the next stall, answering everything I say."