I like going bowling; I always make my name 3 Testicles on the board. That way the TV occasionaly says "Congratulations 3 Testicles! You got a spare."
Old Pilots. You think you have lived to be 85 and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell! An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him... She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.' The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out Iâm a lesbian.'
See, the lesbian was saying what she liked, and the pilot reallized that's what he.................... Oh, never mind.
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Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
A dentist pulls out a needle to give a patient a numbing shot. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles,' the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide machine and the man objects. "I can't do the gas thing. Just the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!" The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. "No objection," the patient says."'I'm fine with pills." The dentist leaves the examining room for a moment. When he returns, he hands the patient a pill and says, "Here's a Viagra." The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!" "It doesn't," said the dentist,"but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."