Why Beer Is Better Than Obama "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." --Benjamin Franklin Beer is better than Obama because soldiers like beer. Beer is better than Obama because sailors like beer. Beer is better than Obama because marines like beer. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't come from Madrassas. Beer is better than Obama because you know what's in beer. Beer is better than Obama because beer won't take half your paycheck. Beer is better than Obama because beer makes life a little better. Beer is better than Obama because you're sad if there's no more beer. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lie. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't have entitlement demands. Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don't mix. Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it. Beer is better than Obama because beer and bowling go together. Beer is better than Obama because beer and arugula don't. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesnât mind if you cling to your beer. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesnât trash talk you behind your back. Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming. Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesnât pretend to be domestic. Beer is better than Obama because beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD. Beer is better than Obama because beer is GREEN only on St. Patrickâs Day. Beer is better than Obama because beer didnât smoke pot and snort coke. Beer is better than Obama because beer is better than Vichy Water. Beer is better than Obama because beer is unpretentious. Beer is better than Obama because people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't promise you a free lunch. Beer is better than Obama because there ain't no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway. *"Bilal - Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)" Beer is better than Obama because beer wonât throw you under the bus. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't cut and run. Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't phony. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't flip-flop. Beer is better than Obama because beerâs ingredients known for sure. Beer is better than Obama because beer makes people happy. Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie. Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't promoted on National Public Radio. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't mind if you own an SUV. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care how much you make. Beer is better than Obama because a beer won't blame America for 9/11. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't whine, it bubbles. Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't a lawyer. Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date. Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together. Beer is better than Obama because you're not afraid to turn your back on a beer. Beer is better than Obama because beers don't have friends who bombed the pentagon. Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit. Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't tell you what you want to hear. Beer is better than Obama because beer is worth what you pay for it. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lecture you about "global warming." Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care what color you are. Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't want to take away your gun. Beer is better than Obama because beer is popular with working people. Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't crazy. Beer is better than Obama because beers don't start out as empties. Beer is better than Obama because beers don't rig elections. Beer is better than Obama because beers don't raise taxes. Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don't mix. Beer wants to make you sociable; Obama wants to make you socialist. No matter how often you pee, you can't rid yourself of Obama. A beer hangover means you had a good time; an Obama hangover means the good times are gone. Beer will make the ball game more fun; Obama will tax your balls off. Too much beer means some of us will occasionally have to say "I'm sorry." Too much Obama means we're all gonna be very, very sorry for a long, long time.
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Fox news: "The massive machine at the center of the world's biggest scientific experiment has malfunctioned again â derailed by a bit of bread dropped by a bird. Scientists hope the $7.3 billion machine......" Yeah, you guys are probably thinking I am making this up. but I can't....I don't think anybody could... http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,572567,00.html?test=latestnews
"The massive machine at the center of the world's biggest scientific experiment has malfunctioned again â derailed by a bit of bread dropped by a bird. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933...test=latestnews ------------------------------- Further down the page I noticed.... PEOPLE WHO READ THIS ALSO READ Sex Toy Study at Duke University Raises Some Eyebrows ******************* How do you make pickle bread? With dill-dough Ahahahahahaha
I went to get some golf lessons and, after the semi pro golfer eyed up my swing, he said to me, "what you want to do is take about 3 inches off your club". "Will this make my swing more accurate?" I said. "No", he replied, "But you will be able to get the lid on the garbage can".
A guy in a hot air balloon had fallen asleep and when he woke up wanted to find out where he was. So he approached the ground and asked the nearest person he came across "Excuse me, do you know where I am?" The man on the ground replied, "Yes, you are 45 and 17 north, 14 and 03 west and 2.55 meters above the ground" The man in the balloon was stunned and answered, "You must be a Republican ." "Yes I am, but how do you know?" "You appear very busy, you speak loud and fast, you tell me a lot of detailed but useless information, and I still don't know where I am." "And you must be a Democrat right?" "I am, but now how did you know?" "Very obvious: you fall asleep in the middle of the day you have risen to your current position due to a lot of hot air you don't know where you are you don't understand what Iâm telling you have no clue what's going on.....and you make me feel like it's my fault."
A young man was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." He took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the young man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?" He said, "Look, I'm an engineering major. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."
Catholic coffee Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" stomach and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."