Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. When Sigmund Freud got cancer, his family was really upset.

    Except for his uncle Schaden.
     
    #5721     Oct 27, 2009
  2. My neighbour is in the Guiness Book of World Records, he's had 43 concussions.

    He lives very close, in fact just a stones throw away but that's not the point...
     
    #5722     Oct 27, 2009
  3. Most people think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'

    One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.

    Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc..

    Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.

    I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.




    [​IMG]
     
    #5723     Oct 27, 2009
  4. TGregg

    TGregg

    From IMAO.US:

    Read the rest at:

    http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/10/tips-for-saudis-travelling-abroad/
     
    #5724     Oct 28, 2009
  5. Speaking of tips,

    1 part gin, 5 parts water in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.
     
    #5725     Oct 28, 2009
  6. TGregg

    TGregg

    Oh No! Stop! Please! I beg you!


    Whew, that was a close one.
     
    #5726     Oct 28, 2009
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

    :) :) :)
     
    #5727     Oct 28, 2009
  8. Yannis

    Yannis

    What's a shark's favorite game show? Name that Tuna!

    :) :) :)
     
    #5728     Oct 28, 2009
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    Sweet little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, the old lady asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"

    "My beautiful little goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

    To be polite, the neighbour sounded very sympathetic: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, dear, isn't it?"

    Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt and snapped back, "That's because he's inside your stupid, ugly cat!"

    :) :) :)
     
    #5729     Oct 28, 2009
  10. Getting a headstart for my Christmas Decorations (my house is on the right).
     
    #5730     Oct 28, 2009