Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Icahn offers CIT Group $6 billion loan

    mnnnnnn tasty

    walks like gm tastes like gm, put in on the menu and call it canard.
     
    #5661     Oct 19, 2009
  2. For many, many years, I had always looked for answers.....

    and then, one incredible day, I got rid of all the questions.....


    :D
     
    #5662     Oct 19, 2009
  3. JWS11

    JWS11

    Emotional extremes

    Several aspiring psychiatrists from across the country were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

    "Sadness," said the student.

    And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

    "Elation," said she.

    "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

    "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy-up!'" :D
     
    #5663     Oct 19, 2009
  4. What is the opposite of Sharp?

    Sony
     
    #5664     Oct 19, 2009
  5. Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families:

    If you don't stop that this instant, I'll have Grandma perform another striptease for you.

    Billy Bob, you finish them chores your sister ain't goin' to the prom with ya!

    If you don't eat your peas, I'll make you stay at Nancy Pelosi's house!

    As long as you live under this roof, you're going to wear that dress, young man!

    You just wait till your father gets paroled!

    Stop crying, or Uncle Nutmeg will kick you in the nuts

    All right, Little Mister, no more time in the sheep pen for you!
     
    #5665     Oct 19, 2009
  6. A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier".

    At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: "Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".

    The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.

    The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."
     
    #5666     Oct 19, 2009
  7. A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim.

    A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top.

    She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest.

    Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said,"Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."
     
    #5667     Oct 19, 2009
  8. A party of economists was climbing in the Alps .

    After several hours they became hopelessly lost.

    One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun.

    Finally he said, ' OK see that big mountain over there?' 'Yes', answered the others eagerly. 'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'
     
    #5668     Oct 19, 2009
  9. elomich

    elomich

    Nutmeg

    I've been reading this forum for awhile now. Just wanted to say thanks for the entrainment, you're a funny dude.
     
    #5669     Oct 19, 2009
  10. You're welcome.
     
    #5670     Oct 19, 2009