Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Yannis

    Yannis

  2. What did the sheep say when the ETers were making fun of her telephone answering skills?

    "We all know why you guys hire us, and it's not for our secretarial skills. Helloooo... up here, boys!!! I am more than just a pair of teats!"
     
    #5622     Oct 14, 2009
  3. Yannis

    Yannis

  4. That little wench knows how to run up a credit card. No more 900 - beastiality numbers for me. at least not till next month anyway.
     
    #5624     Oct 14, 2009
  5. Q: How many traders does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Two … one to change the bulb, the other to sell the old one at the highest price possible before CNBC reports that it’s burned out.
     
    #5625     Oct 14, 2009
  6. Two men walk past the Norwegian Parliament in silence.

    Suddenly one man spits.

    "Hey" says the other...."please don't talk politics."
     
    #5626     Oct 14, 2009
  7. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    Dear Joe The Advice Guy:


    I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.


    When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor girl is 22.

    We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

    I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become very distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

    Can you please help?

    Sincerely,

    Sheila


    ******************************

    Dear Sheila:

    A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

    I hope this helps!

    Joe
     
    #5627     Oct 15, 2009
  8. Fuck me, the French find a thigh and a foot bone and make out they are the remains of a saint and take it on tour around the world!

    In the Bronx we find a complete skeleton and it becomes a fucking crime scene.
     
    #5628     Oct 15, 2009
  9. LOL
     
    #5629     Oct 16, 2009
  10. I was walking down the road with my girlfriend and said "Look at that dog with one eye!".

    She covered one eye and said "Where?".
     
    #5630     Oct 16, 2009