Nutmeg, I hate to tell you but there never was a potato famine. Nobody ever told them that they grow underground.
I had to take a drug test yesterday and it came back negative. Which means my dealer's got some explaining to do.
Wow, I was looking for some dance jokes and couldn't find any so I thought I'd toss some haiku out there. According to her The bukkake party rocked Everybody came.
The Deaf Wife... A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her on the subject, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and say something in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks,"Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,"Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he isabout 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" This time he hears: "GREG!, for the FIFTH time, it's CHICKEN!!!"
A Great Oldie A blonde went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Doctor, you have to help me, I'm in pain!" "Where are you hurting?" She touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. And on and on she continued. "I see," said the doctor. "Well, you have a broken finger..."
Another Good One Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest of his special bats to stand on his right side. So all of his bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat gets more blood, would be the winner. So the first bat goes a little after midnight and comes back in an hour, her mouth dripping blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower to the left? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 2 hours, her mouth full in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that other tower to the right? Behind it there is an inn. I went in and drunk the blood of all the customers." "Impressive" said Dracula. Now it's almost morning when the third bat goes out; she comes back after three minutes, her face literally covered in blood. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" "Do you see this tower straight ahead?" "Yes. "Well, I didn't".