Jokes 2

I used to work for the post office. Never finished my route on time, they always had to send help. I thought I'd get my ass chewed out, nope. BUT one day........ I shit you not...... I was reassigned to Express Mail.

 

that's b.s.

 

What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together?

In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."

 

A woman was shopping in the local supermarket where she selected a quart of milk, eggs, a carton of juice, and a package of bacon. As she unloaded her items at the cash register to pay, a guy standing behind her in line watched her place the four items on the belt and stated with assurance: "You must be single."


The woman looked at the four items on the belt, saw nothing unusual about her selection and said: "That's right. How on earth did you know?"


He replied: "Because you're ugly."

 

Q. What happens when a banker and a hooker spend the night togethor ?

A. Next morning the banker wants the hooker to accept an i.o.u.

 

Fixed it for you.

 

I've been learning French for six months and as soon as I gave up they said I'd passed.

 

I had lunch with Gary Kasparov last week.

Took him 2 hours to pass the f*****g salt

 

Ummmnnn, ya left out the part about the checkered table cloth.

 

Yo Kasparov.

White salt to E4, your move.