A real gamer.......... Harry was sensitive about his wooden leg and afraid no woman would have him. He was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage. He couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancée about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.The wedding night came and went, and the young couple was at last alone in their hotel room. "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," said the bride.Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump."Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that is a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!"
Harry meets a young woman in a bar and they start to dance. She comments what a wonderful dancer he is. He says, not bad for a man with a wooden leg, eh? She says, yeah right, you don't have a wooden leg. Well watch. So he unscrewed his leg and proved it to her. Later, dropping her off at home he kisses her and she say's my you embrace me divinely. He says not bad for a man with a wooden arm, huh? They go inside and play cards with her parents. She say's, my you play a wonderful game of cards. He say's not bad for a guy with a wooden head eh? She say's you don't have a wooden head. He say's come into the next room and I'll show you. The parents waited quite a while but finally look and sure enough he was screwing his head off.
I once knew a guy with a wooden leg named Harry. So I asked him, "What's the name of your other leg?"
I know this guys been around a long time , but I'm just not familiar with him. John Witherspoon His SHOWTIME stand up routine is drop dead funny. Almost had a heart attack laughing at his routine. If you can see it, do .
Guys aren't the only ones with fake legs. One day a guy with a fake eye (made of wood, of course) was at a dance. Finally he works up enough approach a young lady (with a wooden leg of course). "Would you like to dance?" He asks her in a small voice. "Would I?!" she replies. "Oh yeah?! Peg Leg! Peg Leg!"
Is this really included in Obama's health care bill under the heading of 'cost containment'? Q: How do you get a retard to commit suicide? A: Put a knife in his hand and ask him "Who's Special?"
Two kids on a playground Kid 1 My grand daddy's more special then your grand daddy. Kid 2 Really, why so? Kid 1 My grand daddy has a wooden leg. Kid 2 That's nothing. My grandma has a cedar chest!
No one believes Barack Obama was actually born in America. This has nothing to do with his skin color, or Kenyan heritage, it's just that he doesn't weigh five hundred pounds.