I just read that Sarkozy has been taken ill after a bit of exercise. Needless to say, he was running. Ahahahahahahaha.
Sweet Old Husband While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant and as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her: "Hey, while you're in there looking for your %%$$##&& glasses, you might as well get my hat..."
Another Great Oldie A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydneyâs larger constructions. First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "Whatâs that!â In reply the Australian said, "Thats the Gladesville Bridge". "Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?â The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men." The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men." Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" was the reply. "Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?â The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men". The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men." By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbor Bridge came into view. Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?" The Australian Engineer quipped, "I don't know, I swear, it wasn't there yesterday!!"
From the files of the University College of Optometry: My professor. You'll know it's him when you walk into class and say "Good morning, Professor Stunata," and he shoots back, "Call me Magoo." When discussing vision he begins every sentence with "If Hendrix were alive," and he swears he won't state his political opinions, but he will say that he was disappointed when you merely voted for Barack Obama and didn't set your parents' house on fire as a tribute. He pronounces "Darfur" with an "African" accent and is repulsed by the current lack of student activism. You're repulsed by the fact that he is bald on top, but still insists on harnessing his last few strands of hair into a ponytail. As far as he is concerned, there is no such thing as an arrow or a gun or a cylinder, they are all penises, and the Grand Canyon is just a massive vagina. Whether or not this symbolism was the author's original intent is irrelevent; Magoo won't let the oppressive views of "fact" take his class captive. If Hendrix were alive, he probably wouldn't like professor Stunata.
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for the name of a good optometrist. She said "Here, read this".
PropellerHeads - On Her Majesty's Secret Service For the James Bond movie music lovers among you, shaken and stirred: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN8GcRGNWe4 Yeah... kind of stupid. Very Brit. Enjoy!
French President Sarkozy has been rushed to the hospital with heatstroke after surrendering to the weather.