Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam toward him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man says: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him. Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist who asks: "May I help you?" "Here is your card and key back," Bob says. "You can keep the $500 joining fee." "But Sir," the receptionist says, "you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities." "Listen lady," Bob says, "I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."
a female Hispanic judge would often reach a "better" conclusion than a white male judge. ----------------- But would an albino lesbian octopus reach a better conclusion than Kermit the frog based on Kermits humble beginings as a tadpole. God I wish people would shut up about race.
I didn't know where to post this but thought it is noteworthy. Top pix is nyc taxi, bottom image is nypd. Antenna on the trunk, dual exhaust, top without illuminable medallion number, no turn signals on the roof.
<u>taking a wizard</u> - Urban Dictionary To simply urinate or take a piss (Derived from "Taking a Whizz") joey wanted to pee so badly... so I told him to go "take a wizard" in the neighbor's yard. <img src="http://www.triumphspitfire.com/images/piss_on.gif" />
It occured to me the other day after having an argument with my girlfriend which ended with her screaming: 'You men are all the same; your brains are in your dick before she stormed off out of the house. It occured to me that if brains are in penises as opposed to in heads then perhaps that is why women are so stupid.
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice " ... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ... ". The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned " ... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ... ".