Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. This is a perfect example of a low probability setup.





    <object width="464" height="376"><param name="movie" value="http://embed.break.com/Njc0MDgz"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://embed.break.com/Njc0MDgz" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess=always width="464" height="376"></embed></object><br><font size=1><a href="http://view.break.com/674083#TellAFriendhttp://stats.break.com/invoke.txt">EMBED-Brutal Roof Jump to Trampoline Faceplant</a> - Watch more <a href="http://www.break.com">free videos</a></font>
     
    #4831     May 27, 2009
  2. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/um_6_bvmp2M&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/um_6_bvmp2M&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
    #4832     May 27, 2009
  3. JOB OPENING

    A young man goes into the Job Center in downtown Boulder Colorado and sees a card
    advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.

    Interested, he goes to learn more; 'Can you give me more details?' he
    asks the clerk.

    The clerk pulls up the file and says, 'The job entails getting the
    ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
    underwear, help them lie down comfortably, carefully wash their Personal
    and Private area, apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub
    in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination.

    There's an annual salary of $65,000, but you're going to have to go to
    Albuquerque , New Mexico . That's about 475 miles from here.'

    'Good grief, is that where the job is?'

    'No sir --- that's where the end of the line is right now.
     
    #4833     May 27, 2009
  4. My wife set off the metal detector at the airport the other day.

    Apparently it was the cage.
     
    #4834     May 27, 2009
  5. Did you hear about the Frenchman who could only count up to seven?

    He had a huit allergy.
     
    #4835     May 27, 2009
  6. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    The ‘Hero of Chappaquiddick' speaks on why he supports amnesty for those sneaking across the Rio Grande.



    "I just couldn't bear the thought of anyone drowning in a river while trying to make a better life for themselves."


    Oh the irony.

    Or...would that be hypocrisy?
     
    #4836     May 28, 2009
  7. What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing.
     
    #4837     May 28, 2009
  8. Humpy

    Humpy

    plus a funny joke ?
     
    #4838     May 28, 2009
  9. I forgot about that. But then I thought, many times people said my jokes weren't funny (and you know what? They were right) so then I mentioned my impeccable timing and that got a laugh.
     
    #4839     May 28, 2009
  10. Yannis

    Yannis

    I think most of your jokes are very funny. For example, here are two recent ones that I thought were hilarious:

    "I fell asleep at the wheel today. Oh Christ! What a mess. There was clay everywhere!"
    "I walked into an explosives shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went horribly wrong when the cashier asked for my pin."


    :) :) :)
     
    #4840     May 28, 2009