Jokes 2

How's This For Skill On The Bike

http://www.vimeo.com/4207784

 

Husband And Wife

On the ferry:
She: My love, If I fell in the sea, would you try to save me?
He: If I say yes, will you do it?

That last quarrel, it was his fault:
She: What's on TV?
He: Dust.

That one too:
She: I want to go somewhere tonight... somewhere I haven't been in a while...
He: How about the kitchen?

I drive my wife all over the country, the most remote locations. But, she always manages to find her way back...

When we go out I always hold her hand; if I let go, she buys things!

 

<img src="http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/01676/cartoons/code_talkers.gif" />

 

If I had all the money I'd spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink.

 

Who is fucking who?

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Student Who Auctioned Virginity Online May Have to Pay Half Her Earnings in Taxes

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The teenage student who sold her virginity for $13,827 could have to hand over half of her earnings to the taxman.

German inland revenue investigators are studying reports that Alina Percea, 18, was paid in cash for a weekend of sex with a middle-aged Italian businessman after auctioning her virginity online.

Prostitution is legal in Germany — where Alina studies — but hookers are taxed at 50 percent of their earnings.

The Romanian-born computer studies student is allowed to work in Germany for 90 days as long as she arrived on a student visa, even as a prostitute.

But because Alina earned so much in such a short time she may also be liable for a hefty VAT bill.

A German inland revenue spokesman said: "If we have hard figures then we can make an accurate assessment."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520982,00.html?test=latestnews

 

The teenage student who sold her virginity for $13,827 could have to hand over half of her earnings to the taxman.
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There's gotta be a better way. I'd take it to court, perhaps her virginity could be classified as real estate.

 

"Life is the shittiest book I ever read. There isn't a hook, just a lot of cheap shots, pictures to shock, and characters an amateur would never dream up"

 

I'm about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties.

My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: She bought me some Viagra;

And I've bought her a treadmill.

 

I'm adopted, and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me.

But why everyday?

 

What's the most popular pick up line in Kentucky?

Nice tooth.