Burma Shave Signs For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's, 40's and '50's or later. Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet......and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream. Here are some of the actual signs: DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW OUT SO FAR IT MAY GO HOME IN ANOTHER CAR. Burma Shave TRAINS DON'T WANDER ALL OVER THE MAP 'CAUSE NOBODY SITS IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP Burma Shave SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH BY MISTAKE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER HUSBAND JAKE Burma Shave DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT Burma Shave DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING Burma Shave BROTHER SPEEDER LET'S REHEARSE ALL TOGETHER GOOD MORNING, NURSE Burma Shave CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND A LITTLE MORE STEER Burma Shave SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKS THE SPOT Burma Shave THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE Burma Shave AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT BEAUTIFUL CAR WASN'T IT? Burma Shave NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU Burma Shave A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' Burma Shave AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY Burma Shave BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE Burma Shave THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING Burma Shave CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave PASSING SCHOOL ZONE TAKE IT SLOW LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW Burma Shave IF KISSIN; WHILE DRIVING IS YOUR SPORT THEN TRADE IN YOUR CAR FOR A DAVENPORT Burma Shave FOR ALL THE DRUNKS WHO DRIVE ON SUNDAY. FEW LIVE TO DRIVE AGAIN ON MONDAY Burma Shave
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"
I'm busy right now making an index (Case-Nutmeg Index) using "foundmoney.com" to money flow into equities. Stay tuned...
A survey with some very surprising findings was revealed yesterday. A CSS-Quinnipic pole of homosexuals in Canada asked what their attitudes were towards the recently ended US administration of Bush-Cheney. They found that homosexual men in Canada were very fond of Dick and lesbian women in Canada liked Bush very much.
So who hasn't posted today `cuz they are behind bars (with stinky fingers): http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090519/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_restroom_rampage
Ya gotta go, ya gotta go. At my Army induction, we're all being processed, and the Vietnam war, not being one of more popular conflicts, drew quite a few normal people who were not above acting a bit strange. One guy showed up with a purse, but the one that drew the most attention was the guy with a real similarity to Jesus who crapped on the First Sargeant's desk.
I keep going over the things I wish I'd said to my parents before they died. Things like, "Watch out for that bus."
Bravo! Of course, now, I hope you are hungry, because, to get around the whole thing, 2 pies Are in order!! (a la Perimeter = 2pR...)
Which reminds me one of the funniest short jokes of my favorite comedian, Victor Borge: "You see this watch?" (points to his watch) "I got it from my beloved uncle Jack... he had it for 50 years... he gave it to me on his deathbed... 20 bucks!!"