A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (bourbon), but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.' 'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
My friend split up with his girlfriend yesterday. I told him "There's plenty more fish in the sea" and then he said "But it's not the smell I miss".
I've just been explaining reincarnation to my girlfriend. I told her that when you die you come back as something else. "Thats amazing, when I die, can I come back as a cow?" She asked. I said "you have not been listening to a fucking word I said, Have you?"
I see there's a social networking site for Muslims to get back in touch with there old buddies....it's called Friends Re-ignited
So I bought a wireless router. Comprendez? I hooked the router up BUT I plugged it into a wall receptacle that was controlled by a switch and a light. So, when I turned on the light to see what I was doing all was fine, then when I turned off the light to relax and use my computer, I had no internet because the router would power off. You have no idea what I've been through......
I got a tip for you , if you install the french versions of your favorite programs, THEY RUN A LOT FASTER!
The Tour de France is so popular with the French because it's the one sport where you don't need balls.
good one. This Frenchman went to the library and wanted to check out a book on war. The librarian said "Fuck off, you'll lose it".
7th May 1954 was the day that Dien Bien Phu was overrun after a 4 1/2 month siege. Of 16,000 soldiers, only73 were able to escape. A pity Kennedy didn't learn something from others ! Would have saved 50,000 U.S. dead. 300,000 wounded !