I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency ex change window at the local bank. Just in front of me was an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations.' The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too!'
The guy on the left is the chief executive of Retirement Systems of Alabama, I never forget his immortal words "Why would I buy something I can't even spell" when asked if he the state would like to buy some derivatives. (saved that state a bundle). The guy on the right is Dick Fulds illegimate son. from an affair with Glucksman.
New Jersey Technology "Have you ever noticed that all over the Garden State when a traffic light turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you?â
Then, of course, there's also the famous country song: "OBAMAself, don't wanna be, OBAMAAAAAseeeelf, anymoooore...."
A skinhead gets on a bus and sees this gorgeous-looking nun. He sits there ogling her. She gets off a few stops later, and he sits, still thinking about how great it would be to **** her. When he goes to get off, the driver says to him, 'That nun's fit isn't she?' The skinhead agreed, and the driver carries on, 'You know, she sits in the graveyard at midnight some evenings waiting for the Holy Spirit to impregnate her. If I wasn't a married man, I'd be tempted to to try and give her one.' Later that evening, the skinhead goes to the graveyard with a sheet over his head, and sure enough, the nun is there, praying. He goes up to the nun and announces himself, 'I am the Holy Spirit. Ask anything of me, and it shall be granted.' 'Oh Holy Spirit, I seek nothing but to be impreganted by your glorious light!' 'Rise, my child.' he responds, and turning her round, bends her over a gravestone. He proceeds to give her one up the dirtbox, taking his phone out and filming it, recording her yelps etc. He then proceeds to jizz all over her and her habit, and then when he's done he pulls the sheet off of his head and proclaims 'HAHAHAAAA!!! Skinhead!!' The nun then removes her habit and replies, 'HAHAHAAAAAA!!! Bus driver!!!'
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Ten Times in history when the 'F' word was almost appropriate: # 1 Scattered f...ing showers, my ass! - Noah, 4314 BC # 2 - How the f..k did I just work that out? - Pythagoras, 126 BC # 3 - You want WHAT on the f...ing CEILING? - Michelango, 1568 # 4 - Where did all those f...ing Indians come from? - Custer, 1877 # 5 - It does so f...ing look like her! - Picasso, 1926 # 6 - Where the f..k are we? - Amelia Earhardt, 1937 # 7 - Any f...ing idiot should understand that! - Einstein, 1938 # 8 - What the f..k is that up there? - Mayor of Hiroshima , 1945 # 9 - I need this parade like I need a f...ing hole in my head! - JFK, 1963 #10 - Aw come on, who the f..k is going to find out? - Bill Clinton, 1997