Here's An Idea! Dear Mr. President, Patriotic retirement takes only two weeks at most to implement: There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million apiece severance with three stipulations: 1) They must leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed. 2) They must buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed. 3) They must either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis fixed. All National financial problems fixed without the Federal Government controlling every aspect of our lives. !!!
While you were joking, there are many who can't do math but find ideas like this to be great and love to email them. Just look at all the morons and their stoooopid <A href="http://www.snopes.com/politics/gasoline/nogas.asp">Don't buy gas this one day</a> plan. These dolts do not realize that giving 40 million people 1 million each costs 40 trillion dollars.
His & Her Diary Her Diary: Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. His Diary: Made the worst landing of my life today, but at least I got laid.
An Oklahoma Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.. He says to the waiter: 'Want coffee.' The waiter says, 'Sure, Chief. Coming right up.' He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out. The next morning the Oklahoma Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter 'Want coffee.' The waiter says 'Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?' The Indian smiles and proudly says 'Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.
A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?" His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you're lucky you don't bark!
"Good bye my fellow militants, I go to do God's. . ." KABOOM! KABUL, March 26 (Reuters) - A would-be suicide bomber accidentally blew himself up on Thursday, killing six other militants as he was bidding them farewell to leave for his intended target, the Interior Ministry said. "The terrorist was on his way to his destination and saying good-bye to his associates and then his suicide vest exploded," a statement from the ministry said. http://www.reuters.com/article/latestCrisis/idUSISL330182
A couple of GM car salesmen are sitting at a bar crying the blues to one another over a few drinks after a long tough weekend. At the other end of the bar is busty red-headed hooker that over-hears one of the car guys saying "Man, I'm gonna loose my ass if I don't start selling some more cars." The hooker jumps right into the conversation and says "You think that's bad? I'm gonna lose my car if I don't start selling some more ass!"
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iqA6cAviOyE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iqA6cAviOyE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>