Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Yannis

    Yannis

  2. fhl

    fhl

    Is it really possible to tell which cow has mad cow disease just by looking at them?

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    #4382     Mar 24, 2009
  3. fhl

    fhl

    An old couple go to a doctor and ask him to watch them have sex and tell if he see's them doing anything wrong. So they have sex. While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything wrong!"

    A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are doing anything wrong. They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything wrong."

    This goes on for weeks. Then the doctor asks why they keep coming.

    The guy said: "If we go to her house her husband will catch us. If we go to my house my wife will catch us. A hotel costs fifty bucks. Here it's thirty-five dollars and medicare pays half!"
     
    #4383     Mar 24, 2009
  4. TGregg

    TGregg

    <IMG SRC=http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=2361762>
     
    #4384     Mar 24, 2009
  5. #4385     Mar 24, 2009
  6. #4386     Mar 24, 2009
  7. fhl

    fhl

    [​IMG]
     
    #4387     Mar 25, 2009
  8. Humpy

    Humpy

    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Overdue account

    Dear David,
    Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

    Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Re: Overdue account

    Dear Jane,
    I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
    I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

    Regards, David.





    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Overdue account

    Dear David,
    Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

    Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Re: Overdue account

    Dear Jane,
    Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

    Dear David,
    You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

    Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

    Dear Jane,

    Yes please.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

    Attached <spider.gif>





    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Whose spider is that?

    Dear Jane,
    Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

    Dear David,
    Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th.
    David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
    Please make this payment as soon as possible.

    Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

    Thankyou for contacting me.
    I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

    Regards, David.



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

    Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

    Regards, David.





    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

    Dear David,
    As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lieu of money for accounts outstanding.
    We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

    Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
    To: Jane Gilles
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

    I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jane Gilles
    Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

    Attached <spider2.gif>
     
    #4389     Mar 25, 2009
  9. fhl

    fhl

    [​IMG]
     
    #4390     Mar 26, 2009