First thing I've seen in a while that makes perfect sense. In a topsy turvy world, it's good to know there are solid thinkers out there.
Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a major breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
I am going to a conference next week about premature ejaculation, I phoned the event co-ordinator and asked him what the dress code was as I was unsure, he replied " You can wear fucking anything just don't come in your pants"
The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1... #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. " #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?" #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." #2 "I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." The envelope please..................... AND THE WINNER IS ... #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Good Question Why do you think the most difficult job in the US Military is being a Navy Pilot? Is it because it is really hard to make boats fly, or because it is REALLY hard to fly planes underwater?
Last time I got stopped the policeman said "The time to put on your seat belt is not when you see an officer".
Good joke. Bad joke. No joke. You may be one person in the world. But to one person you may be the world.