Airline Humor, Cont'd A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a small airport during the nighttime. Instead of declaring his flight and making any official requests to the tower, he just said: "Guess who?" At which point the, more experienced, air traffic controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where?"
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."
I saw this on a bumper sticker If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
Slogans for t shirts My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company. My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school. My dick has an elevator and a lobby. My dick has better credit than I do. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum. My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick. My dick is so big, it has casters. My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow. My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick. My dick is so big, it lives next door. My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third. My dick is so big, it votes. My dick is a better dresser than I am. My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal. My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
HOW ABOUT A DIFFERENT VIEW If you dont know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man does have memory space in his brain to remember all of that interesting information as well as plenty of room for original thought. All the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR is just so much extra crap if there is room. If you can pick out chartreuse from plonk or you know what an option is, you're well on the way to enjoying the delights of this planet. And if you cant name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious and probably a fat SLOB mixing with the trash at the bottom of the heap and too stupid to even realize it.
A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I Must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money." "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."
Very Wise Quote "When presented with the impossible question, the wise man hesitated a bit, hummed to himself three times, leaned forward and whispered: 'not sure about it, go ask a woman!'"