A little old grandma didn't receive her SS check and was told that she would have to wait 'til next months arrived to get both checks. She was distressed because it was going to be Christmas soon and she had planned to have her entire family over. She so decided to send an letter to God asking for just $100 so her Holiday with her family would not be totally ruined. She wrote it out explaining her dire situation and mailed it. A postal worker noticed the envelope and after determining that it was undeliverable, decided to open it. After reading it the postal worker was so moved by the letter that he decided to take up an offering. At the end of his shift he had come up with $96 and mailed it to the Grandma. Upon receiving the letter, she thought it was a miracle that God had heard her plea and couldnt wait to read it being that it was addressed from God. She read it and it brought her to tears so she decided to send a thank you note to God. She thanked God for the generous gift, but admitted that she was slightly disappointed. She asked God if He sent her request of $100 or if those bastards at the Post Office stole her money again?
After the transvestite escaped from prison the only thing the police could tell the press was that she was still a broad.
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I heard about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and the guy finally died of typhus." "Don't worry, that won't happen with me. If I treat someone with pneumonia, they'll die of pneumonia."
A guy went into the drug store to buy some condoms. The clerk said, "that will be $4.95 plus tax." Guy said, "TAX, I thought the things stayed on by themselves!!!"
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