An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community can't tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blond with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
In other news,a 40-year-old 7-foot-tall plastic model of theTwin Towers is reported to be headed for the official memorial(from which the WTC name was erased in favor of "NationalSeptember 11").Another way officialdom wants to make what must be restored into history,next to the open holes illustrating the lesson Osama taught us about being allowed to build that big.
Economic & Financial Wizardry This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. "Q. Where will the government get this money? "A. From taxpayers. "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "A. Only a smidgen. "Q. What is the purpose of this payment? "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? "A. Shut up." Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan . If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan . And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on pizza, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US...
Babu: The "Highest" Person In The World Babu Sassi, a fearless young man from southern India is the cult hero of Dubai's army of construction workers. Known as the "Indian on the top of the world", Babi is the crane operator at the world's tallest building â the 819-metre Burj Dubai. His office, the cramped crane cab perched on top of the Burj, is also his home â apparently it takes too long to come down to the ground each day to make it worthwhile. When the building is completed, its elevators will be the world's fastest. Stories about his daily dalliance with death are discussed in revered terms by Dubai's workers. Some say he has been up there for more than a year, others whisper that he's paid 30,000 dirhams ($8,168) a month compared with the average wage of 800 dirhams a month. All agree he's worth it.
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "I'm a bit worried - can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?" "Of course," replies the doctor, "Where do you think Steelers fans come from?"