They found out you really don't live longer if you eat right, exercise, stop smoking and drinking - it just seems like it.
If two wrongs don't make a right---try three!!!! A classic. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/85gO8XLb4ug&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/85gO8XLb4ug&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
The Busey Family This internet thiang is the funniest gd place in the world. I'm forever laughing my ass off.
How do you know when the stage is level at a rock concert? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth ..
Did you know that Union workers built the pyramids? It was originally designed as a cube. Each shift, though, did less work till the last said 'throw a rock on top and lets go home'.
Bob, a middle-aged US tourist, visits the red light district of Amsterdam & enters a large brothel. It's only his second time in the country. The Madam asks him to be seated & sends over a young lady to entertain the prospective client. They sit & talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the Madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit & talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He again whispers in her ear, and she screams "No!" and walks quickly away! The Madam decides that only the most experienced lady, Lola, would do! Lola looks a bit tired, but there is nothing she hasn't done already and absolutely nothing would surprise her. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams "No!" louder than the previous two, smacks him as hard as she can, and runs away! Madam is by now, absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She asks, "What did you want to do, to make them run away like that?" Bob said: "I just asked if I can pay in US Dollars".
A man was walking through the forest, when he suddenly has an urge to take a pee. He came upon a field of buttercups. Thinking no one was looking, he immediately relieved himself all over the buttercups. Unbeknownst to him, Mother Nature saw the whole thing and became furious. "How dare you!", she cried, "Just for that, you won''t get any butter for a whole year!" He said "well, I sure am glad I didn't pee on the pussywillows!"
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a American Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.' POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.' The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.'