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Why did the goat cross the road? Because the chickens were having a meeting. "Who's been eating all the fodder and leaving nothing for us? "The goat! The goat" they all shouted. "This is enemy no. 1", said the chief chicken.
Why did the goat cross the road? Because the chicken didnât know it takes a male and a female goat to make another goat, so it crossed it with a pig.
One day Hitler's cook served him an English muffin, French toast, and a Belgian waffle. Then Hitler threw them all in the trash and said, "Take this away! It is inferior food!" Only he said it in German. And he used a bad word.
Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load y our pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
Whats the most shamefull thing that could happen in your life......... Walk into a wall with a boner and break your nose first
To make a long story short. There was a costume party. You had to dress up as an emotion. Two guys from Brooklyn arrive. One is standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the other with his knob stuck in a pear. I was really shocked and said, "Well, what the heck are you doing? You could get arrested standing like that out there in the street like that. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?!?!" Tony replies, "Well, Oim fokn discustard, and Vinny here has just come In despair"
A man rolls over in bed and grins at his wife. She says "Not tonight darling, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay clean. Man rolls over feeling rejected. After 5 minutes he rolls back over and asks "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?".