Okay, I'm back. A couple of city boys are out in the woods.... by a lake fishing and enjoying a warm summer's day. A canoeist passes by, when all of a sudden his canoe sinks. The canoeist doesn't re-surface After about 10 minutes, one angler asks if the other saw what happened. He had. "Don't you think we ought to look for him?" said one They went in with their waders and dragged out a lifeless body. "Go on then, do something, give him the fucking kiss of life" One angler gets down and opens the mouth of the victim. "Fuck me, I'm not fucking breathing into that, god his breath smells fucking revolting" "Don't be so fucking sensitive, it's life or death you cunt." The other one gets down but is also beaten back by the bad breath. A third guy, who had been watching from nearby said "I think you cunts have got the wrong feller!" "What makes you think that then" ask the anglers. "Because that one's still got his fucking ice skates on!"
The summer before I started law school, I was seeing a girl in Miami named "Courtney." She was incredibly hot--one of those girls you have a physical reaction too as soon as you see her. One time we were fucking doggy style, incredible sex, and right as I was about to come I pulled back too far and my dick came out. I didn't realize it, and as I thrust forward again, instead of going back into her vagina my dick stuck in her ass crack (NOT into her asshole, but her crack, between her butt cheeks, like a hot dog...sort of). I was leaning over her, my face right above the back of her head, and I looked down at my dick right as I hit climax...and shot nut INTO MY OWN EYE. A direct hit, right into my wide-open eye. I didn't even see it coming...literally.
How did Rosie O'Donnel pick her ass. From a mail order catalog. Ahahahahaha. Why did the spoon cross the road? To get away from that fat smelly bitch.
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
This web site has school photographs of everyone in the country. http://www.worldschoolphotographs.com/wsp/index1.htm