A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Hodgee comes to the US from India and hes only here for a few months and he becomes very ill. he goes to doctor after doctor but none can help him, finally he goes to an Indian doctor. The doctor says take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de shit, and den put ur head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten mintutes" Hodgee takes the bucket does all of that and comes back and says "It worked I feel terrific, what was it?" The doctor replies, "You were homesick."
I was in work today when a woman walked in with her tits hanging out! Me and my co workers were shouting, "Wahay! Check out the knockers on that!" I don't think we're cut out for work in the mammography department.
You never know who's listening in on your cell phone calls... The other day I was talking dirty to my girlfriend on the phone and before I knew it the whole bus was listening.
The CIA have announced that the appointment of Barack Obama as president of the USA has saved a fortune on security within the White House. Now, any threat to him and all they have to do is switch the lights off, very quickly
I tried phone sex last night, but never again. I had to call for an ambulance. That's hard to do when your cock is stuck in the nine.
I was watching the inauguration yesterday and they showed a black woman talking about when she was younger. She mentioned that if she wanted to go to the cinema she would have to watch a film in a "coloured" section of the cinema. Lucky bitch, all i got was black and white.