New Year Math A man had two goldfish, he named one "One" and the other "Two" So that... if one died, he'd still have two.
Dad, what's the blow-hole for? I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Peter:..Hello Sally, h-hey its Peter Griffen. Yeah, that's right, senior prom, yeah it's been a while..so listen, um, I just found out that Im retarted and um, I'm just calling to let you know that uh, you might want to get yourself tested.
Fellow ETers: Found This Somewhere, It's Good My Wish for You in 2009 May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your clothes become magnets for $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! Above all, may the jokes in this thread make you laugh so hard that it hurts. In simple words... May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
I used to wish for fancy cars, beautiful women, lots of cash. After 08, I've throttled back a bit. Now, I only hope I can die in my sleep.