Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Re the market.

    “This is worse than a divorce–I’ve lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife..”
     
    #3691     Dec 20, 2008
  2. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
     
    #3692     Dec 20, 2008
  3. After graduation from HS, mom asked about my future plans. "I said I'd like to go to college".

    “What would you like to take when you go to college?” she asked.

    I gave it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, I said, “The refrigerator, if you can get along without it.”
     
    #3693     Dec 20, 2008
  4. [​IMG]
     
    #3694     Dec 20, 2008
  5. Classic Roast beef recipe:


    1 large Roast of beef
    1 small Roast of beef

    Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.


    When the little one burns, the big one is done.
     
    #3695     Dec 20, 2008
  6. Humpy

    Humpy

    Recently on a remote island in the Pacific a Japanese soldier was discovered who didn't know the war was over
    On the same island an Irishman was discovered who didn't know it had even begun and a drunken Scotsman who wanted to start it all over again
     
    #3696     Dec 21, 2008
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green,

    However, Bobby, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Bobby, how many times have you see a red duck?"

    To which, young Bobby replied, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella!"

    :) :) :)
     
    #3697     Dec 21, 2008
  8. Humpy

    Humpy

    Q. from a crossword - what's often found at the bottom of birdcages ending in it ( 4 letters )













    A. grit ( Anyone that thought of a word beginning with s - has a dirty mind and should do 10 press-ups as punishment )
     
    #3698     Dec 21, 2008
  9. This would make a nice Christmas gift. A new remote!



    [​IMG]
     
    #3699     Dec 21, 2008
  10. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ua05RTaDE8o&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ua05RTaDE8o&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
    #3700     Dec 21, 2008