Maika the Warrior Maika was a Warrior in Ratu Isoa's chiefly court on the island of Vanualeqa. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen Susana's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Yavala, who was the King's chief witch doctor. Yavala said "I can arrange it, but I will need 10 kilos of waka as a bribe". Maika readily agreed. The next day Yavala made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a little of it into the Queens tapa brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the royal chambers, Yavala told Ratu Isoa that only a special saliva, if applied to his wife's breasts for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Maika the Warrior's mouth. The Chief summoned Maika the Warrior and issued the imperial command. Maika slipped the antidote to the itching lotion, which Yavala had given him, into his mouth and for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts. Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Yavala demanding payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Yavala anything and shooed him away, knowing that he could never report this matter to the Chief. The next day, Yavala slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion onto Chief Isoa's underpants hanging on the line. And Maika the Warrior was again summoned by the Chief.......................
Oprah Winfrey goes to Dr. Phil and confides in him: "I just can't seem to keep my weight down," she sobs. "I've tried Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Hollywood, Atkins, and a thousand other diets and none of them have lasting results. I've even tried hypnotherapy, acupuncture, & coffee enemas and still no success. Can you help me?" Dr. Phil says: "I think I can help you, but first there's something I need to check out. Take off all of your clothes and get down on your hands and knees." Having tried all other remedies and not wanting to show her lack of faith in the Doc, she obeys, strips down to her B'day suit and plops down on the floor. "Now crawl over by the fireplace and hold that position for 5 minutes." says the Doc. He stares at her from many different angles and then finally says, "Okay, Get Dressed and come back tomorrow." The next day, Oprah comes back and Dr Phil gives her the same instructions, but this time he has her crawl over by a plant and hold the position for 5 minutes. "Again he walks around the room looking at her from all angles and rubbing his chin in deep thought. After 5 minutes he has her get dressed and tells her to come back the following day. This goes on for three more days and Oprah has stripped and crawled by the French doors, the throw rug, the desk and she's getting pretty steamed about now. She finally gets dressed and says: "Look Doc, I've tried lots of crazy stuff in my life to lose weight, but how is crawling around naked on your floor going to help me lose weight"? Dr. Phil rubs his chin and says: "Oh it won't, but I'm buying an overstuffed black leather sofa for my office and I wanted to see where it would look best."
Plaxico tells us about gun safety: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fpgL5kuBpMA&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fpgL5kuBpMA&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
Maryâs father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? --------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isnât. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Protons have mass? I didnât even know they were Catholic. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who couldnât control her pupils? ****************************************************************** Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.
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A down on his luck boxer was desperate for money when he ran into Count Dracula in a dark alley. "Dracula," the boxer said, "I'll do anything for a buck." Dracula replied, "Well, I'm quite horny. Give me a blow job and I'll pay you $50." .....so the boxer went down for the count.
It took me a little while to get why you used the word "count", but when I did, I LOL'd. Good post, and an original one, I think. __________________