In honor of the upcoming world toilet day, here's one: An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud. "White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the Indian. "How much is it?" "$1.00 a roll," the clerk replies. "That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about the others?" "Charmin is $2.00 a roll and no name is 50 cents a roll." The Indian doesn't have much money so he opts for the no name. Within a few hours he is back at the trading post. "I have a name for the no name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall call it John Wayne." "Why?" asks the confused clerk. "Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no crap off an Indian."
A politician finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of al franken voter brains for the sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged politician says, "This is a ripoff! How come the al franken voter brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, "Do you know how many al franken voters it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck! He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."
Always the consummate host,Bush readies for the Inauguration. <img src="http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=2187242"/>
How Old Is Your Brain, Really? The site instructions are in Japanese, so read below! 1. Touch 'start' 2. Wait for 3, 2, 1. 3. Memorize the numbers' position on the screen, and then click the circle from the smallest number to the biggest number. 4. At the end of the game, the computer will tell you the age of your brain. PS. By now, I know you guys in this thread... it'll be terrible, humiliating, even devastating for most of you... don't worry, no-one's laughing too too much, be strong... http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html