I occasionally do a walk thru inspection of my daughters room after they leave for school. Today I noticed a poster of Obama hanging on the wall right between Usher and Biggie Smalls. lmao. I knew it, main reason I voted was to cancel out her vote.
The Vision Thing Three guys from Jersey drove into the same Manhattan office each day via the Lincoln Tunnel. With gas prices rising, they decided to commute together, each one taking a turn driving in. One of them had to drop out though, because his eyes were bothering him. The optometrist back home told him he had developed carpool tunnel vision...
I thought you guys would get a kick out of this: "Nigerian Prince Seeks TARP Loan; Will Pay Back Double Washington, November 13 [Reuters] In an email to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, a member of the Nigerian royalty has applied for a $100 billion "bridge" loan from the Troubled Asset Relief Program. Prince Charles Flagboola, who is a third-generation descendant of the 19th century Nigerian ruling family, informed Secretary Paulson that the estate of his great-grandfather, King Mike Flagboola, will be auctioned at Christie's in early 2009. "I have told the most gracious Secretary Of The Treasury that I would happily return two hundred billion dollars to the United States in a mere three months for one hundred billion dollars today," Flagboola told Reuters this morning. "The only problem I face is that I am unable to get my hands on the considerable sum of cash from my great-grandfather's estate right at this very moment. But this is a mere technicality. My loss is your gain. The United States of America would be very wise to take advantage of this opportunity." Paulson could not be reached for comment, although a senior Treasury spokesman said that the Prince's generous offer is considered a scam, and is thus quite likely to be accepted. "We're not going to change our protocols in mid-stream," the official said. "I mean, we're considering Ford. On what grounds can we turn this guy down?""
Actual Letter To The Canadian Passport Office Dear Mr. Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For ----- sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight ##$$%% passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! SHIT! I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ##@@$$ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there??! Look at my ^^%%$$ picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another ^^%%$$ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the &&^^%% place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the ^^%%$$ picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (^^%%## morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off! Signed - An Irate &&^^%% Canadian Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something like over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST &&^^** CHINA !!!