I have an euphemisn for ya. Pleasing and less filling. "Assumed Room Temperature" Euphemism for death.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German? A: A Beaner-Schnitzel Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving. Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France? Germans like to march in the shade.
Little Boy: What will Obamanomics be like when perfected? His Father: Everyone will have what he needs. Little Boy: But what if there is a shortage of meat? His Father: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
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Man, www.imao.us is smoking: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3AYG4y5et5g&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3AYG4y5et5g&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
Two former schoolmates met in the street. "Where do you work?" "I am a school teacher. And what about you?" "I work for the the Obama administration." "Oh, and what are you doing for Obama?" "We unearth those who are dissatisfied." "You mean, there are also some who are satisfied?" "Those who are satisfied are dealt with by the IRS Enforcement division."
Itâs been rumoured that there is trouble in the Obama household. The soul brothers from the South wanted to celebrate his victory by painting the White House black and calling it the Black House. Ever the moderate B O decided there were votes to be won here but there had to be a compromise and decided to call it the Black & White House and paint it black and white. OK so far but Michelle wanted the upper floor to be black and the ground floor to be left white. B O still in his moderating role decides that this is offensive to some and to call a compromise the House would have to be black and white in VERTICAL stripes. Someone pointed out if the ground floor was black and therefore the background was black then they wouldn't get too much on camera for the photoshoots. Maybe some gleaming white teeth if anyone was smiling. That seemed to be that problem solved, when all of a sudden the native Americans sent a petition that the new color scheme didnât represent them and they were there first after all. B O is getting pretty fed up by now, weeks have gone by and they are still arguing about the new look for the Black & White House while the economy is in deep trouble and getting worse. OK says he, the consumate politician, itâll have a red stripe too and be known as the Black, White and Red House. Problem solved or was it ? There was a big petition from the Orientals insisting there should be a yellow stripe and another from the Hispanics for a brown stripe and on and on and they hadnât even got to discussing the color scheme of the carpets, wall-paper etc. The White House battle looks set to continue, but Mr Obama and family have moved to California anyway. They may have found a place with Wil Smith in Belair.
Post Elections Humor Every new Administration comes to power with vast dreams how to "improve things", or, in this case, how to champion large scale social, political and economic "change." Of course, in a few months their nonsensical ideas are dashed by the cruel reality of the place and our elected officials find themselves locked in position until the next elections. Which reminds me of this old one: Two gold fish are put in a tank. One of them looks around and says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Change is guaranteed this time. The only thing constant is change. Whether for better or worse, it will change. (Can we get any worse?)