Jokes 2

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He was born on US soil in HI.

John McCain was not born on US soil.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCain

Art II of the US Constitution says:
No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States.

http://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/constitution.articleii.html#section1

 

That's not the voting lever, but don't stop pulling.

Get used to it, honey--we live in a swing state.

 

I came across (woo hoo) a web site for women with migraines.


For times when you long to be married....miss that loved one... tune in.

"Daily thoughts from a woman suffering from a migraine....and maybe some other thoughts thrown in for good measure!" Bitchin!!!!


There are currently 212 members and 187 guests on the boards with migraines. (Probably only two but it seems like thata many)

 

Q. What do you call a Cleveland Brown with a Super Bowl ring?

A. A thief
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Why are the Cleveland Browns like a possum?

Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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If you see a Cleveland Browns fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?

It could be your bike.
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What do you say to a Browns fan with a job?

"I'll have a Big Mac, fries and a coke, please."

 

Daddy... will the financial crisis affect us?
--No son, it will affect the rich... We are fucked

 

Me: “Thank you for calling ******, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I am in the back office and someone told me that we were supposed to be able to use wireless keyboards, so I cut the cable.”

Me: “You… cut the cable?”

Customer: “Yes, and now it doesn’t work.”

Me: “You cut the cable on your keyboard, and now it doesn’t work?”

Customer: “Yes”

Me: “You’re going to have to buy a new keyboard.”

Customer: “Why? I was told we could use wireless keyboards.”

Me: “That is not a wireless keyboard.”

Customer: “Yes it is.”

Me: “Just because you cut the cord does not make it wireless.”

Customer: “Can’t you just make it work?”

Me: “Does your phone have a cable?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “If you cut it, do you think your phone will work?”

Customer: *line disconnects after 20 seconds of silence*

 

Customer: “Hi, what movies do you have playing today?”

Me: “None, we don’t have electricity.”

Customer: “And what time does that start?”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t open.”

Customer: “That’s too early, what else you got?”

Me: “NO MOVIES ARE SHOWING TODAY!”

Customer: “I heard that was no good.”

Me: “We can’t show movies because we have no power!”

Customer: “Is that the movie with Samuel L Jackson?”

 

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink in this place?" To which the bartender responds, "For you? No charge"

 

Now I can appreciate that joke. Many others including and especially comics I just don't get.