Patent I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Okay. What do you call it?" "A Fottle." "What else do you have?" "A folding carton." "What do you call it?" "A Farton." She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude." I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.
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Following The Instructions Flight Attendant: Here is some chewing gum, Sir; it will help to keep your ears from popping. Flight Attendant: (after the plane landed): So, did the gum help? Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I canât get it out of my ears...
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your habit? I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her habit and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you'd looked a little higher, you'd have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either." :eek:
I got some really funny soccer jokes. Let me know what you guys think.. David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why hes celebrating. He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days." "And that's good?" asks Posh. "You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."
Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and Posh? A: Posh Spice doesn't kick back when she's taken from behind. Q: What do David Beckham and British rail trains have in common. A: They both go in and out of Victoria Q: What do the England footbal team and Posh Spice both have in common? A: They've both been screwed by David Beckham.
Q: Why did Posh Spice marry David Beckham? A: Because he's the only fella who can lob Seaman at 60 yards! (Seamen was the former Arsenal goal keeper..)