Jokes 2

True story (on Baltimore Sun . com today)

23 Year Old Baltimore Man Arrested by Secret Service Jumping Fence at Whitehouse as Idiot is getting out of his limo.

In the comment forum man from Pasadena MD says "He was just trying to get a last look at the rose garden before it becomes a watermelon patch."

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/nation/bal-te.metrobriefs290oct29,0,3148298.story

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/baltimore-sun/TFTE480F62J42M8NM

 

Ronald Reagan was not the only one to suffer from Alzheimer's Disease. America did, too.

 

"He was just trying to get a last look at the rose garden before it becomes a watermelon patch."

If this happens, short Viagra.

 

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do a about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK...... My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

 

Watch Carefully: Some Very Objective Democrat Jokes

http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=4SM3RJPrtYE&feature=related

 

How are Obama's family and sperm alike?

It takes hundreds of them to make one functioning human being.

 

From www.imao.us a new McCain commercial:

MCCAIN: I was held prisoner by the North Vietnamese for five and half years. They tortured me, beat me, spat upon me, but you know the one thing I remember most about my captors? How much their economic philosophy resembles Obama’s.

ANNOUNCER: Barack Obama: [bleep]ing Commie

 

I like to look on the good side of prison.

At least by the time you get out, you'll be able to smuggle twice the amount of drugs up your ass.

 

I was at a cash machine the other day,and an old lady asked me to help her check her balance... So I pushed her over.