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One Lehman Brother says to another Lehman brother: --"Hey, you have any money?"-- **"Sure, I have $30 billion left"** --"What are you, are smart azz? I asked if you had any money!"--
What's the difference between a Lehman Brothers broker and a pigeon? A pigeon can still put a deposit on a BMW
Lehman Brothers employees were putting only $5 on their canteen cards so they would not lose any money.
US President George Bush: I am saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. My thoughts go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is no doubt a tragedy
On Sept. 14, two quants at Lehman get into a elevator to go home. One pushes the button but it doesn't move. 'What's going on?' he asks. 'Why won't it move? The other pulls out his laptop and says, 'Well of course: according to my model, nothing further can go down.' "
Auditor's one line report on Lehman Brothers Balance sheet: "There are two sides to a Balance Sheet â Left & Right: on the Left side there is nothing right.. and on the right side there is nothing left"
Gosh another Sunday. Soon McCain will be President and I will still be telling jokes. Why did the nun cross the road? It was a habit.
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it. The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said, 'This is for washing our hair.' Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer. 'The curlers are on me.'