Q. What happened when the man on the lawn mower ran over Batman and Robin ? A. There was flatman and ribbon
Hey nutmeg, that jokes would work with a rake wouldn't it? Why did the rake cross the road. He was looking for a hoe.
Three missionaries get caught by cannibals, and the cannibals throw them in a bamboo jail. The chief pulls one of them out of the bamboo jail and says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga." The missionary thinks to himself, "I don't want to die...", so he says, "I'll take bunga bunga." The chief says, "Ugh. Bunga bunga." The cannibals all start jumping up and down, grunting, "Bunga bunga! Bunga bunga!" Then they pull down his pants, bend him over a log, and they all fuck him in the ass. They thow him back in the bamboo jail, and he's bleeding, and moaning...I mean, he's got a few phone numbers...but for the most part, he's a hurtin'' gherkin. They drag out the next missionary, and the chief says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga." The missionary looks back at the first guy, who's in really bad shape, but he doesn''t want to die, so he says, "I'll take bunga bunga." The chief says, "Ugh. Bunga bunga." The cannibals all start jumping up and down, grunting, "Bunga bunga! Bunga bunga!" Then they pull down his pants, bend him over a log, and they all fuck him in the ass. And it's a lot worse for him, because of course it takes the cannibals alot longer the second time. They throw him back in the bamboo jail, whelping like a dog that's been hit by a truck, and pull out the third missionary. The chief says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga." The third missionary sees the other two guys in total agony, and says, "I couldn't handle that. I'll take death." The chief says, "Ugh. Death. But first, bunga bunga."
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand got caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our president. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle''. Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'. The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. 'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, and he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there in the first place.'