Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Humpy

    Humpy

    I was walking in the cemetery this morning and saw a man hiding behind a gravestone.
    I said "Morning" and he replied "No, just having a sh1t."
     
    #3201     Oct 3, 2008
  2. Why did the gravestone cross the road?

    Smells better on the other side.
     
    #3202     Oct 3, 2008
  3. I sense a lifelong friendship beginning here with you and Humpy.
     
    #3203     Oct 3, 2008
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    Investment Tips 2008

    To my friends who may want to react to recent market developments and enrich their stock portfolios:

    For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2008:

    1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

    2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

    3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood

    4.) Zippo Manufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .

    5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

    6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

    7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

    8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

    And finally....

    9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

    :) :) :)
     
    #3204     Oct 3, 2008
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

  6. Mergers.

    Mor-Covia

    Wa-Stanley

    Del-Burger

    Mc-Walmart
     
    #3206     Oct 3, 2008
  7. RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS


    Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they had instead created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are reincarnated, can never please their mothers.


    Meanwhile, Muslim nations, citing the difficult Hinjew merger, said they have discontinued talks with the world's largest religion to form Chrislam.

    "It wouldn't have worked anyway," said Imam Satra Mohammed of Damascus. "The first time we drank the communion wine, we would have all had to kill ourselves."

    Stay tuned...
     
    #3207     Oct 3, 2008
  8. [​IMG]
     
    #3208     Oct 3, 2008
  9. [​IMG]
     
    #3209     Oct 3, 2008
  10. never saw a turd smile before. Actually, never saw a cartoon turd before. Canaries, cats, dogs, sailors, Superheroes........ but I have to say, this is my first cartoon turd.

    Maybe it'll take off on its own.

    "Jack, the Cartoon Turd."
     
    #3210     Oct 3, 2008