I was about four when mom took me to the beach for the first time. I saw a dead seagull floating in the water. "Mommy, what happened to him?" I asked. Mom said: "He died and went to Heaven..... and then God threw him back down into the water"
If you get an e-mail with "Nude Pictures of Sarah Palin" in the subject field, do not open it. It may contain a virus. If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton" in the subject field, do not open it. It may contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton.
In one village's farming family a cow went missing. The father gathered his children and annouced the news. Father:If someone stole the cow - he's a douchebag! Youngest: if he's a douchbag - he is short! Middle:If he is short he is from neighboring village. Oldest: If he is from the neighoring village it has to be Johhny So the 4 of them head out across the field to the neighboring village, find johnny and ask him to give the cow back. He keeps refusing, argument broke out, the town constable saw this and took them all to court before the judge. Judge asked them why they think it was Johnny who stole their cow? They gave them the story: Father:If someone stole the cow - he's a douchebag! Youngest: if he's a douchbag - he is short! Middle:If he is short he is from neighboring village. Oldest: If he is from the neighoring village it has to be Johhny ! -- But this doesn't make any sense the judge say. - Sure it does -reply all of em - we can figure anything out. - ok, says the judge, he takes out a black box. What do I have inside: Youngest: The box is square - that means whatever inside is round Middle: If its round it has to be green. Oldes: if its green - then its an apple! Judge: (looks in box, takes out an apple) - Johnny - give the cow back to the guys
From the files of Dr Stunata What is the difference between an insomniac mom of a newborn baby and a regular mom of a newborn? The insomniac thinks she has some psychological advantage over the normal mom because she's used to getting by on not a lot of sleep.