Q: How does a politician or reporter sleep? A: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
nutmeg? CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A West Virginia man accused of passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer no longer faces a battery charge. The Kanawha County prosecutor's office requested that the charge be dropped against 34-year-old Jose Cruz. According to a criminal complaint, Cruz passed gas and made a fanning motion toward patrolman T.E. Parsons after being taken to the police station for a breathalyzer test. Cruz denies fanning the gas and says his request to use a restroom when first arriving at the station was denied. An assistant says Magistrate Jack Pauley signed a motion to dismiss the charge Thursday. Cruz, who was arrested Tuesday, still faces driving under the influence and other charges.
sniff sniff Ya know, if you can smell somebody's fart, that means that molecules that used to be up their @$$ are now up your nose. Have a nice day.
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?" "Hmm," says the Doctor, He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?" "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton's era in America. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
Barack Obama, the lead Presidential Democratic Party candidate... ... is for banning all guns in America . He is considered by those who have dealt with him as a bit more than just a little self-righteous. At a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence. Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence. Then, little Bobby Joe, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ''Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!'