A man is on plane headed to Madagascar. He is smoking a large cigar which is disturbing the woman next to him. She has a large squawking parrot on her shoulder. The woman and the man begin to argue. The woman tells the man that his cigar is extremely ghastly and the man replys by telling her that the parrot on her shoulding is much too loud and annoying. After much arguing a flight attendant gets fed up with the conflict and throws the cigar and the parrot out the window. The man and woman are mortified and look out the window to see the parrot flying next to the plane. And what did the parrot have in his mouth?
Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub, one says "Pass the soap." The other one says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"
Two mosquitos are flying next to each other. Then all of a sudden, one starts screaming and rubbing his face. The other one goes: "Whats wrong, buddy?" The mosquito rubbing his faces goes: "Nah, its ok, just got a bug in my eye..."
A man comes home from a session at the psychiatrist to find one of his friends in bed with his wife. He storms into the kitchen, takes a knife out of the drawer, and stabs his friend to death. The man's wife turns round and says: "Look, you're nuts. If you keep going on like this you'll have no friends left!"
Another Sunday draws to an end, sheesh... time flies like an arrow.... fruit flies like a banana. Aaaaannnnnddddd. Today's Sunday joke is : How do we know that Moses was made out of rubber? He tied his ass to a tree and walked 5 miles.
One of the 10 COMMANDMENTS says one shouldn't covet one's neighbour's ass ( depends who your neighbour is I guess ?? )