American Politics A La JibJab Another timely JibJab: http://www.peteyandpetunia.com/VoteHere/VoteHere.htm
The Democrats have suddenly developed a keen sense of morality. John Edwards has been banned from making a speech at the Democrat Convention for having an affair and lying about it. In his place, Bill Clinton will be speaking.
Two Iranian spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S. The first spy starts speaking in Arabic. The second spy shushes him quickly and whisper's 'Don't blow our cover. You're in America now. Speak Spanish..'
Speaking of spies, I remember reading a story of how Xerox installed a camera in the photo copy machine in the Russian Embassy. The Russians made a copy and we had whatever they copied on film.
When the US Embassy was built in Moscow it was full of Russian espionage equipment implanted in the steel and everywhere else. Nothing like using Russian contractors to build a US Embassy in Moscow during the cold war. Then some idiots in Washington permitted Russia to build their embassy on the highest point in DC where they could spy on everything. I lived there and remember outrage about the site approval; not sure if it got built there or not.
The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.' The next night (after John McCain returns with 50 fish), Reid said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John Mc Cain cheating?' Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.' Experience Counts!!!
Forty-three percent of all Americans say that immigration is a serious problem ...The remaining 57 percent said, 'No hablo ingléâ§!
What did John McCain say to Sarah Palin? No, you idiot! I said lick my erection, not wreck my election!! (this joke works in every presidential race, though not so well in this one as previous others. YET!)
Another Sunday: Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.