Rude Bus Driver On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby." The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asks "What's wrong, you look mad?" She replied "I am. That bus driver just insulted me." "You shouldn't take that from him." the man replied. "He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take down his badge number and report him." "You're right sir I think I will report him." The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number. I'll hold your monkey for you."
a very Nutmeg joke: My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I have to stop masturbating. I asked her why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you..."
Tell the Truth A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"
Wrong Music Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time, real loud?" "Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first!"
Do you remember the Monty Python skit? The one where the British had the funniest joke in the history of mankind. They read it through a bullhorn in German, and the Germans came out from their fortifications laughing so hard, the British took them prisoner? they need to reshoot the episode. This must be the funniest joke ever. Just kills.
Medical Exchange "Doc! Iâve lost my memory!â âCalm down, Sir. When did this happen?â ... âWhen did what happen?â
I think you mean the first one below - really, really good. The other two are excellent also: http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=gvj1QGqfQyg http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=sVxM5IBLeU4 http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=e6Lq771TVm4
what have kfc & a hooker got in comon? a bit of breast & thigh, and you stick your bone in a greasy box!