Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Two flies on a turd. One farts. The other says......"Hey, Hey, Hey, I'm eatin' here.!!!"
     
    #281     Jul 13, 2007
  2. Try it in a bar one night. They'll either kill you, or you'll drink free. No inbetween.

    Then top it with,
    "Hey, you know the difference between "beer nuts", and "deer nuts."??

    "Beer nuts" are expensive. But Deer nuts are under a buck.

    Of course, I've never been in a bar telling stale jokes. You'll have to try it.:p
     
    #282     Jul 13, 2007
  3. And I'll just bet, Yannis, that before the weekend is out, you'll tell that joke. The John Dear joke, i.e.
     
    #283     Jul 13, 2007
  4. trendo

    trendo

    What did the two old hags say to the magician?

    "Cut out all the hocus and pocus!"
     
    #284     Jul 13, 2007
  5. A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

    At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for two more years, and then dies.

    A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "watch out for the fucking wall!'''
     
    #285     Jul 13, 2007
  6. lar

    lar

    A blonde and a brunette were taking the elevator to the lobby from the 25th floor. On the 23rd floor, a very handsome looking man with great hair but dandruff gets into the elevator. The women exchange a look acknowledging just how good looking this man is.

    The man gets off the elevator on the 12th floor. The women watch him exit the elevator. Then the brunette turns to the blonde and says,

    "God was he good looking, but someone ought to give him some Head & Shoulders."

    To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?"
     
    #286     Jul 13, 2007
  7. Yannis

    Yannis

    Yes, you are right. The buck joke IS is funny. I tried the other one too and my friend said to me: "John, dear, shut up!" What can I say?

    :) :) :)
     
    #287     Jul 14, 2007
  8. Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
     
    #288     Jul 14, 2007
  9. Humpy

    Humpy

    ALONE !
     
    #289     Jul 15, 2007
  10. Yannis

    Yannis

    Wisdom Of The Ages (Repeat?)

    Give a man a hug, and he'll be warm for a minute... Set a man on fire and he'll be very hot for the rest of his life!

    Do not judge your brother until you have walked 5 miles in his shoes... By then you are far away and you also have his shoes!

    :) :) :)
     
    #290     Jul 16, 2007