Reminds me of an old joke: Blond driving down the road and is pulled over by a state policeman. As he walks up to the car, he starts unzipping his fly. The blond thinking to herself replies," Oh No!. Not the breath analyzer test again."
Q: What goes "Vroom-Erp!....Vroom-Erp!....Vroom-Erp!"? A: A blonde trying to get through a flashing red light.
Burial At Sea Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a while Bubbles says, 'Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?' Barbie slipped over the sideand finding the water only knee deep said, 'nope, not yet Bubbles'. So they row a little farther.... Again Bubbles asks Barbie, 'Do you think were out far enough now? Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest.' So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface gasping for breath. 'Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?' 'Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel.'
Taking A Bath A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."
A Blonde's Year In Review January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer! March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours ? power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of California is "C"....isn't it? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound - I weigh 108!! December - Couldn't call 911.... "duh"....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!
According to Barronâs, the SEC âwaved a newspaper and swatted the imaginary fly of naked short-selling. It made a big noise, but thereâs no dead bug.â