Punny Funs Anyone? Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out. Old doctors never die they just lose their patience. A bank manager without anyone around may find themself a-loan. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. He was arrested for throwing bombs from a boat, but they dropped the charges. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.
You might think this was satire, perhaps even Onion material. But (as far(t) as I can tell) it's real: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...in-plastic-tank-for-global-warming-study.html
It is worse than you can imagine re animal farts. I believe it is New Zealand which has zip for smokestacks is trying to reduce their carbon footprint by levying a tax on sheep or shepherders because of the methane from sheep. We should get a tax credit for eating chili with no beans.
Another STUPID Joke Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!"
Speaking of sufficating, I'm reading a new book: "âMore Things Machines We Canât Build Could Do If We Could Build Them.â Journal of Quantum Computational Methods.
I should just forget about that book and start on my memoirs. Something titled: "I'm so full of shit, but sometimes I'm not, I know it but how long before everyone else figures it out and why nobody cares".
Just don't forget that when Thomas Edison was criticized that his last 10,000 experiments had failed, he said: I didn't fail 10,000 times; I learned 10,000 things that don't work!